Bullied to the brink

By Lori McKay - The Weekly News
Toni Nicholas loves to sing, write poems, play on the computer and hang out with her friends. Stuff most 11-year-old kids like to do. But right now, the Grade 5 Humber Park Elementary School student is no longer attending school and her mother fears she could commit suicide.
"She was coming home from school every day crying, and we've had to take her out of school because of bullies. No kid should have to put up with what she's been going through," said her mother, Sherry Nicholas from their Lake Major Road home.
Toni said she's tried ignoring it, and tried fighting back, but nothing helps. She's been slapped in face, pushed, had orange juice thrown on her, been called names and had hurtful things written about her on the school walls.
As punishment, the students had to write her an apology letter, something Toni said was completely insincere.
"They didn't care that they upset me," said Toni about the letters. "A few days later they would say something like, 'Go home and commit suicide. Nobody likes you here.'"
Toni had some serious health issues as a small child and is presently battling with an eating disorder.
Nicholas consulted her daughter's doctor at the IWK Health Centre, who advised her to take Toni out of school. That was more than two weeks ago, and the bullying didn't stop there. She's been harassed in the form of MSN messages and phone calls at home.
"I'm not sure what to do," said Nicholas. "I can't take the computer or phone away from her. That's the only way she can communicate with her friends now that she's home all day."
Toni says she doesn't want to go back to the school if the girls that have been harassing her are still there.
"I just wouldn't be able to take it," Toni said, and her mom is fearful she'll try to harm herself.
"I'm up all night checking on her. I can't let her out of my sight," said Nicholas.
Last Thursday, Toni's parents met with school board members, as well as the principal and her doctor, in an attempt to come up with a solution.
With only five weeks left in the school year, they decided sending her to another school
wasn't an option.
The school board is looking into getting Toni a tutor, so she can finish out the rest of the school year from home.
"I know she's missing out on her social life, but I just can't send her back there," said Nicholas tearfully. "They (the school) can't guarantee her safety."
When asked what she'd like to see done at the school, Nicholas said she'd like to see stricter punishment. "I think the girls that did this to her should be out of school, not my daughter. She's a straight A student, She's missing out on her education."
Next year is still up in the air. Nicholas
doesn't drive and her husband leaves for work early in the mornings, so transportation to another school is an issue.
For years, the Halifax Regional School Board held a zero-tolerance policy on bullying, and Nicholas was surprised to hear that it was no longer enforced.
According to Doug Hadley, coordinator of communications for HRSB, zero-tolerance policies fell out of favour in the late 1990s for various reasons, and the provincial government developed a province-wide code of conduct for students, which the school board follows. Issues of bullying would fall under that regional policy and consequences range from talking to the students, to suspensions and could even involve the police.
Hadley said he couldn't speak specifically about this particular case, but said in general terms, when it comes to the issue of bullying, there is an expectation that it is never ignored.
"The school board is absolutely committed to working with this family to address the concerns," said Hadley. "The majority of situations (such as bullying) are resolved to the parents' satisfaction. In the remaining situations, we continue to work with parents and exercise options."
A school may respond through a variety of approaches, including counselling, classroom workshops, and support provided to the school by the HRSB's Safe Schools division.
"When we are dealing with relationships among young people, the issues can be very complicated and it often takes a variety of strategies to assist them in finding solutions," said Hadley.
lmckay@hfxnews.ca