By Mike Sage
MOVIE REVIEW: Percy Jackson and the Olympians: the Lightning Thief
Starring Logan Lerman, Brandon T. Jackson and Alexandra Daddario; directed by Chris Columbus. Rating: 2 stars out of 5
The original mastermind behind the first two Harry Potter flicks (the worst two if you recall) is back with another pedestrian envisioning of young adult lit.
In the wake of JK Rowling's spellbinding classics came Percy Jackson and the Olympians Rick Riordan's modern day take on Greek mythological demigods set in the grand ol' U.S.A. Much like Potter, The Lightning Thief features a young teenager on the verge of discovering his powerful ancestry. Instead of wizarding parents, Percy's dad's a God - Poseidon, deity of the seas to be exact - and Percy's destined to help prevent a godly war from breaking out over NYC.
After some first act shenanigans where Percy learns his math teacher is a harpy and his crippled BFF is actually satyr named Grover, Percy is shipped off to Camp Half-Blood, or should I say the Hogwarts for young demi-gods. Here he meets his Hermione, a whipper-snapper warrior princess and daughter of Athena, who joins up with him because there's not much better to do. Apparently as a rare son of the Big Three (Zeus, Poseidon and Hades), Percy is destined for heroic things, like rescuing the stolen lightning bolt of the king of the gods. As the Ron Weasly of the group (in black, half-goat form), Grover tags along to provide flat comic relief.
The quest that ensues is overlong and hopelessly predictable and director Columbus hasn't a clue how to stage a mystery plot or build suspense, so it all feels like a Saturday morning cartoon. The significance of this lightning bolt (and why it was stolen) is never really revealed, as the adaptation focuses instead on the formula quest and the obstacles our heroes should have no difficulties overcoming.
Percy Jackson isn't a complete waste, however. The effects are inventive and generally pretty seamless. Although many of the godly performances (Sean Bean as Zeus, Kevin McKidd as Poseidon and Steve Coogan as Hades) do feel like stunt-casting gimmicks, a few campy exceptions are almost worth the price of admission. Uma Thurman's Medusa is her corniest role since Poison Ivy in Batman & Robin, and she has a gleeful ball with the snake-haired villainess (as does the effects team). Rosario Dawson's bitter, scorned wife of Hades also steals the show as she seduces our underage heroes.
Unlike Harry Potter, which grew to transcend its target teenager audience, Percy Jackson is serviceable at best.
Mike Sage is a documentary filmmaker, editor and film critic. He can be reached at mikewsage@gmail.com.
