MOVIE REVIEW: 1 1/2 STARS OUT OF FIVE. The Tooth Fairy, Starring Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Ashley Judd and Julie Andrews; directed by Michael Lembeck
Oh how the mighty have fallen. With the likes of Matt Damon and Angelina Jolie stealing the thunder in A-list action flicks, there is little room left for the big boys. Vin Diesel went on to The Pacifier, Arnold Schwarzenegger became the Governator and Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson is now the tooth fairy?
I understand the trend for muscleman action heroes to flex their charms in kiddie flicks, but this is just wrong. The former wrestler plays Derek, a hockey player nicknamed the Tooth Fairy, because he body checks others so hard they loose their teeth. It's only fitting then that the minor league roughhouser, who has no aspirations of being more than a mean Tie Domi, is sentenced to serve time as a real "tooth fairy." Apparently Derek likes to quash children's dreams, so by becoming skillful as a tooth-collecting pixie, this will help him realize the value of chasing lofty goals.
Johnson isn't a terrible actor and he has the perfect grin needed to sell movie posters. But this is a preposterous premise not even Johnny Depp could pull off. It doesn't help that five writers, probably serving time for losing bets at the studio, penned the labored script.
Johnson isn't the only performer to sell his soul to 20th Century Fox. The once popular and talented Ashley Judd slums it as the girlfriend single mom (apparently our ambition-free hero is also a commitment-phobe and therefore sleeps on the couch) and Julie Andrews proves she's sliding further into senility by playing the Head Fairy who barks all the orders.
Snarky Brit Stephen Merchant gets a few laughs as the trainer while Billy Crystal is the Q of Fairyland, and he builds the magical devices and weapons that allow the fairies to survive cat attacks in their teeth- collecting duties.
Although this is a copycat for the myriad movie renditions of Santa's workshops in the North Pole, the best parts of this turkey take place in Fairyland.
Once our hero is shrunken down to pillow size and has to fend off felines with Cat Away, you might as well start pulling teeth, because that might prove more enjoyable.
Mike Sage is a documentary filmmaker, editor and film critic. He can be reached at mikewsage@gmail.com.
